tour demo 2012

by Spoonboy

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one handed 02:55
this operation, watch out as i make a mess of it. all stuck like tarpits up in my head. this dull perdition, i am motivated by the hell of it or stuck in my tracks, it just depends. this precious lifetime, runs opposite to eternity, infinite timelines rush by and pass insist now that i'm, i'm obsessed and so aware of it fixated on things that i can't have. but jealousy is a boring, boring game. and i do much better with crazy, crazy, crazy. i wanna be your cast iron obligation. i wanna be the poetry you dream. i wanna breath your pressure to succeed. i wanna be your court ordered sense of failure, i wanna taste the aftertaste of shame. i wanna be your day stuck in the rain. i wanna be your court ordered acquisition. i wanna be the thing that you achieve. i wanna be your reminder to breathe, i wanna be your cast iron sense of sadness i wanna be half real, half make believe i wanna be self consciously incomplete
dr. irving kirsch has got a study out, you see about the chemical imbalance of the brain, the controversy centers around the source and cure for that old thing they call depression i read the article in silence while my mother takes her medicine. now sitting here alone i'm thinking about how things have been, about the emptiness i feel sometimes, i'll flirt with it, i'll treat it like a muse, put it to work, but then i won't know where it's gone. it's overshadowed by some thing that's come along. like attention from this one cute girl. from a couple hundred miles up the road. i ask her what she thinks, she says "in truth, well i don't know," these things come and go. and when all this introspection gets me feeling too unstable, take my bike out for a ride, i'll have a drink and see the monuments to all those overrated men from our tired history, yeah for some reason it means something to me. i'd take this car some thousand miles. if i sublet my room i might not worry about money for a while. if that sounds good to you, well you could come along, but either way i'm headed on…
here. i watch myself disappear. i am feeling crazier every second that i lay here, breathing deep. i force myself not to sleep. i am telling myself i just need to live through the next week. mold. in my lungs. i have made a bad decision, i'm not telling anyone. i will suffer the consequence. i will live through this summer laying in a bed of sickness.
in the attic 02:49
waiting in the attic patiently, i watched as you packed up the car to leave and step into your brightest potential. and though i felt i had something to give, it was lost in the echos of distance. and it dawned on me, the truly temporary nature of a flame that fails to shine, that i was just another thing you left behind. another of the remnants of your old life. i think of the economy, and i think about the debt that's wearing holes into your shoes. i understand. and if you chose to start all over, then i know you'll start another rocking band. and make it disappear like slight of hand. and in my wildest dreams, you might even write a song about me and through that melody i should survive, but i was just a flicker in the passing light, and i was swallowed whole by the dark of night. i was just another thing you left behind. another of the remnants of your old life, and even then a fading memory. a passing shadow. that was me. i was just a ghost in your old life. but i had hoped to one day come alive. and what else could a shadow hope for?
high maintenance friend, you know you drive me up the wall, it's so revealing, when you are backed into a corner by the ceiling. the people all around you well they tremble and they pander out of fear, they're all tiptoeing around what you don't want to hear when you've been round here for too long, you'll have a list like mine of social disaster danger zones you'll learn you don't spend time in no you'll try to avoid them some people are poison high maintenance friend hope i don't see you again. high maintenance friend, you know i stumble over all these brackish feelings, i'm doing backflips to avoid saying what i really think of you. and what i think is that i wish you all the best. and how i hope that you will call me later once you've socially adjusted and i can trust you. high maintenance friend, hope i don't see you again.
linus and me 03:14
linus and me, we were talking about first loves how they burn out, leave you charred and then changed completely. i thought about that one summer burning in the suburbs. me and caroline making eyes and waiting on the subway. she'd sought me out like the stamp that finished her collection, like a dying breed in danger of extinction, and we fell into each other without the slightest bit of caution, until the whole thing fell out from under our feet i see caroline sometimes walking down the street, and her heads all full up with those people she meets, i wanna call out and say "hey thanks for everything caroline" but she don't go by that name no more… and if she saw me tonight, she wouldn't look at me twice, but you know, don't you know, it's alright… alright... alright. me and caroline walked down different paths in life, but you know, don't you know, it's alright… alright… alright. tommy and me, we had committed a crime, not a lot to it, just something we did at the time… there was war in the air and it troubled my mind, there were secrets between us but i'd been sure the things we shared that they were ours but there was something there i hadn't seen before when i saw tommy in his military uniform i knew: he'd been looking for a war. and if he saw me tonight he might not look me in the eye, but you know, don't you know, it's alright… alright… alright. me and tommy we had different wars to fight, but you know, don't you know, it's just gotta be alright. it took a while thinking about someone new before i broke and took down that old picture you drew, you know they say moving on is just something you do, i don't know, it could be, i think sometimes it just happens to you. you find your path, and you take that road, and when you look back, i hope that you know the things we share, and the ways we grow, its due to all the people we've known... and when you saw me tonight, i know it didn't feel right, but you know, don't you know, it takes time, yeah it takes time. me and you we held a little too tight. but you know, don't you know, it's just gotta be alright.


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released June 20, 2012




Spoonboy Washington D.C., D.C.

"a poor man's belle and sebastian" - MRR

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